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THE CANNIBALS OF CANDYLAND by Carlton Mellick III

I discovered this book during a Google Image search by accident. Curiosity got the better of me, so I picked it up a copy. I have four reasons for rating this book a single star. Reason 1: The dialogue is terrible. The best example of the terrible dialogue comes midway through the book when our protagonist is witness to two Candy People exchanging a conversation about the Candy People mating customs.

The dialog was a laughable stretch of exposition in which the characters relay to the reader the s I discovered this book during a Google Image search by accident.

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The dialog was a laughable stretch of exposition in which the characters relay to the reader the sexual culture of their world. The dialog was stilted for most, but not all of the characters, and did more to make me chuckle and laugh than maintain the theme of the story.


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Reason 2: The writing is sloppy. Carlton Mellick III has a problem with voice. He has exactly three voices in the entire story. He has his protagonist's voice, his antagonist's voice, and everyone else. He compensates for this by putting dialog tags with every single piece of dialog. The characters feel two dimensional with their only uniqueness coming from the physical features we are told at length.

He also commits the cardinal sin of breaking the trust to the reader. The protagonist wants to prove to the world that Candy People exist. So, he goes on his quest to provide proof. He fails at first, and finds himself pulled deeper into the world. When he escapes from Candy Land, he finds himself hunted down by some of the Candy People.

At that moment, he is saved by Candy People hunters. Yes, you see, the protagonist doesn't need to show the world they exist. There are already those who know about them and will save him at the same time. This scene and the final scene only left me feeling cheated. His entire journey was pointless. Reason 3: The horror is mostly blah. I figured that this book was going to be a bloody horror with a strong emphasize on gore.

I'm a bit prone to horror and tend to give the genre a pass. This book was a meh on the horror front. I felt no fear for Franklin's situation. In fact, I had little attachment to anything in his life except for the one thing in his life he seemed to actual care about, the kitten he keeps in his pocket.

The relationship between Franklin and the kitten is the only interaction in the story that was properly developed and this shows with the ending. Franklin returns to his apartment to find that his beloved kitten has been cooked so that Franklin might have some fresh meat to eat. And this, is the only horrific punch in the entire novel, a dead kitten.

The author needs to figure out what he wants in his story. Cannibals of Candyland is described as an erotic horror story. It is also described as dark, disturbing, and absurd. I think these elements were all vastly underdeveloped.

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His story was hardly erotic, horrific, dark, or disturbing. Each of these had potential. The book was absurd, and that is in a good way. Carlton should either have focused on fewer of these descriptors or should have spent longer developing the story. It was simply trying to accomplish way too much and fell very short of any expectations, I had. May 24, Rebecca Brock rated it really liked it. To be honest, I wasn't sure about this book. I'd stumbled across it while looking for other things, and while the cover was eye-catching and the title is unavoidably cool, I wasn't sure if it would be my "thing.

Last night, bored wi To be honest, I wasn't sure about this book. Last night, bored with everything else, I decided to read a few pages and see just how 'bizarro' it was. My first bit of surprise was that I got into it immediately.


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I'm unfamiliar with Mellick's writing, but once I accepted his world of men who wear only candy-apple red and keep multi-colored kittens in his pockets while hunting down the candy-men who killed his siblings, I was totally absorbed in the story. What's that you're wondering? First of all, to enjoy this book you're going to have to embrace the absurd. Men and women literally--and I really do mean literally--made of candy: taffy bodies, cotton candy hair, gumdrop nipples, etc.

They also have really sharp teeth. Think Pennywise from "It. Graphically and in great detail. This is not a book for the faint of heart or easily upset, because the kids in this book Apparently they make for dee-licious eatin'. The great thing about this book is that it has such a simple plot: as a child, Franklin saw his siblings eaten by a monstrous candy-woman and, of course, no one believes him.

The candy people grow into a thing of legend, and when he grows up, Franklin makes hunting them down and getting proof of their existence his goal in life. When he wounds one of the monsters and follows it down into the underground caves they live in, he finds a world right out of Willie Wonka's wet dreams: everything is candy.

Book Review: The Cannibals of Candyland

Houses are made of cookies. The ground is chocolate.

Everything is edible I won't give too much more of the plot away--needless to say, he runs into the candy-woman who killed his brothers and sisters--but the details of that world are so interesting and well described that I actually think it made my blood sugar go up. So will I be reading more of Carlton Mellick's work? Yep, yes, and oh yeah. I've already got two more of his books cued up on the Kindle, and will likely be reading more. I'm in professional awe at his ability to just go batshit crazy with his ideas and take them as far as he can. That kind of fearlessness is rare nowadays. I highly recommend this book to anyone who likes weirdness, horror, and cannibals not necessarily in that order.

Mar 08, VanillaSky rated it really liked it Shelves: ha , made-me-sick. I'm not into bizarro fiction actually, but this one was a fun and sweet and bloody treat. Like: There are lollipop trees, licorice grass, cotton candy clouds in a grape-flavored purple sky, hills made of chocolate, rivers of jelly, fields of candy canes, and in the far distance there are enormous blue, green, and pink gumballs the size of mountains.

Franklin picks up his pace.


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